Two Jags

Submitted by Janine on 27 February, 2005 - 10:28

John Prezza here again - voice of Labour’s working-class roots. Or I would be, if I still believed in any of that class nonsense.

Bit peeved by this here report about global warming and greenhouse gases - whatever they might be. Seems some boffins reckon gas-guzzling road vehicles are partly to blame.

Of course, if the lower classes stuck to public transport (or stayed at home), then the likes of me could keep the Jags on the road without hurting the envirnoment too much.

Top idea. Problem is, though, that’d mean making train tickets cheap, which means the companies won’t make so much porfit, and we’re not having that!

Here in New Labour, big businesses are our best buddies. No favours to the unions any more, matey. Old-

fashioned blah blah militant blah blah 1970s blah blah mass meetings blah blah.
Better idea. Keep the trains expensive (and crap), tax the motorists and pay me a load of money so I can afford it and they can’t. Golden age of motoring and all that.

I didn’t get where I am today by sticking to my principles. Oh no.

Luckily, the only choice is us or the Tories, and the lefties haven’t got their act together, so you lot are going to vote me back in anyway.

Else I’ll chin yer.

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