As Boris Bans Booze day fast approaches, management have produced a helpful guide to how we are supposed to enforce it.
At the start of each section, they tell us in big, important letters that our safety is paramount. Trouble is, no matter how many times management write that, the content gives the game away. While they try very hard to say that we should not put ourselves in a position of danger, they keep letting certain words slip in - 'confront' and 'challenge' being a couple of examples. How, exactly, do we 'confront' and 'challenge' someone breaking the new rule whilst remaining safe?! By retiring to a place of safety, of course - just make sure you leg it quickly before they deck you.
Apparently, we are to tell drinkers to please discard their bottle/can in a rubbish bin. Problem is: you don't see many of those around stations, do you? And on the off-chance that the person concerned hands over the booze, what exactly are we supposed to do with it - stick it in the mess room fridge?!
Never mind though, eh, cos management and the Tory Mayor assure us that the police will be on hand to help. Judging by past experience, they will turn up an hour later and might possibly arrest the staff member!