A kind friend thought I would appreciate a look at OK! magazine. Not because I’m a celeb obsessive, of course, but because of the eight pages devoted to my erstwhile political sparring partner Derek Draper – the man who once threatened to get his cousins from Chorley to come and sort me out.
Derek is now apparently enjoying marital bliss with GMTV presenter Kate Garraway and invited the obsequious pens and snappers from the superficial glossy to accompany them on a trip to Hackney City Farm to celebrate their baby daughter’s birthday. Aaaah.
Most impressive of all, Derek is now referred to as ‘psychotherapist Derek Draper’. How he managed to shed his former label of ‘disgraced spin doctor’ I don’t know, but he still looks comfortable hanging around with pigs and donkeys. Just like the old days, eh Del?
In a momentary lapse of dignity, I then took to reading the article about Girls Aloud. After pages of yer usual dull stuff about clubbing and boyfriends, the article came to a quite horrendous climax when the Girls discussed their weight and figures. Kimberley is 5ft6, weighs 9st, is not confident about her body, wants a smaller bum and thinner legs and would not rule out surgery. Nadine is 7st7 and might try Botox. Cheryl once got so fat she reached 9st7! Whoa, steady on, girl. 8st Sarah wants surgery too.
But the jblog award for Post-Feminist Saddo – not to mention Appalling Example To Girls Everywhere – goes to 8st Nicola Roberts. She would definitely go under the knife, but “for my boyfriend’s sake, not my own”.