SPADs

Peripheral Paintwork

The litany of bizarre 'SPAD reduction' gimmicks continues unabated, with the Northern Line now getting in on the act. Apparently, management seriously believe that painting the lower part of trainstops red will help prevent drivers starting up against red signals.

Food In The Cab

We think management may be planning to install minibars in drivers' cabs. Stands to reason, since their 'top form' booklet recommends having the following with you in the cab - water, orange juice, coffee or tea, bananas, low-fat low-sugar cereal bars, cheese/tuna/turkey/salmon/peanut butter wholemeal bread sandwiches, nuts and raisins, and dried fruit. Blimey. Not that it specifies when you should eat these things - perhaps as you are motoring along? or grab a mouthful in between closing the doors and moving off?

SPADs? Concentrate!

As we know, management are constantly figuring out way of reducing SPADs. They have expert analysts on the case, and no stone is left unturned in their efforts to deploy the latest scientific strategies. So a prize for innovation, please, to Bakerloo line management, for coming up with this ingenious new plan: drivers should concentrate.