Honest John here, proud of my working-class roots, even more proud of my posh cars.

Years ago, I used to bang on about renationalising the railway. Won us a few votes, that did, but I always knew it was, erm, impractical, old-fashioned or whatever. Basically, the fat cats wouldn't have it, and who can blame them, eh?

That Network Rail fella ‘earned’ seven hundred grand, the Jarvis guvnors have got huge bonuses, and Railtrack’s chaps got away scot-free for the embarrassment, I mean tragedy, at Hatfield. That’ll keep the corporate donations flowing in to New Labour's coffers.

Good to see Ken back in the Labour Party. It was a bit hard to swallow at first, but now he's proved what a good bloke he is by telling those stroppy Tube workers to cross picket lines. We class traitors should stick together, I reckon.

I see the unions are voting on their political funds. If you ask me, unions should stay out of politics. It was OK when they were giving me - ahem, I mean my Constituency Labour Party - a wodge of dosh, and letting me put up our kid in that Clapham flat. But those days are gone, and before you know it, they'll be wanting to spend the members' money on campaigning for the members' interests. And we know what that means, don't we? Slagging off the likes of me. And we’re not having that.

See you next time. And in the meantime - watch it, or I'll chin yer.